THANKFUL

I thought I would take a break from my usual sarcasm to list a few things for which I am thankful.

First, I am thankful for the gift of salvation. I am most grateful to The Lord Jesus Christ, that He was willing to give His Life for me.

Second, I am thankful for my wonderful husband; for more than 32 years of marriage and that he knows what "in sickness and in health" really means.  For the last 3 1/2 years he has been my constant caregiver, never complaining that he has to do pretty much everything for me.  I am so grateful to him and I love him more than ever before.

I am thankful for my angel SIL, who has given me so much encouragement.  Words cannot express how grateful I am to her for all she has given to me.

I am grateful for my family, who have loved me and prayed for me and encouraged me in my darkest times.

This year, I am thankful for a new friend and helper that has been sent to me from the Dept. of Human Services.  She has been working tirelessly to decoate my house for Christmas (and she has it looking great).  Thank you, Rhonda.

Last, but certainly not least, I am just thankful for all the blessings in my life - from friends and loved ones, strength, every need met.  I'm even thankful for my little rugrat cats, who give me so much companionship and comfort.

The Bible tells us "in everything, give thanks."  It doesn't say "for" everything give thanks, but I realize I have so MUCH to be thankful "for".

Monkey Butt

I was recently given a container of Anti-Monkey Butt as a joke.  Okay, okay.  This is another one of those Twilight Zone quirks about Oklahoma.
Soon I became curious as to whether or not there is such a thing as 'Monkey Butt', and if there really is, how do you get it?  Is it caused from being bitten by a monkey, or, as in the case of a Chinese zookeeper, do you 'catch' Monkey Butt from licking a monkey's butt to help it poop?
I had never heard of 'Monkey Butt', so I looked it up on the internet.  Turns out, Monkey Butt IS real and NOT just peculiar to Oklahoma!  I found this definition: slang for the sore irritated condition in the private or nether region of one's anatomy when compelled to persistently perform activities with inadequate hygiene; an equal opportunity malady that plagues men and women, walkers and riders, sitters and standers, regardless of race, creed, or color .
 I don't make this stuff up!
Be sure to get your Anti-Monkey Butt right away.  You surely don't want the pain nor the horror of those unsightly rashes!
You can get Anti-Monkey Butt online or at your local drugstore.  There is a whole line of products available for men, women, and even babies!  Anti-Monkey Butt comes in ointment, cream, or powder form.  Pick some up and don't risk this serious and painful malady!  Remember, Monkey Butt is an equal opportunistic 'problem'.
DON'T LEAVE YOURSELF UNPROTECTED!