THANKFUL

I thought I would take a break from my usual sarcasm to list a few things for which I am thankful.

First, I am thankful for the gift of salvation. I am most grateful to The Lord Jesus Christ, that He was willing to give His Life for me.

Second, I am thankful for my wonderful husband; for more than 32 years of marriage and that he knows what "in sickness and in health" really means.  For the last 3 1/2 years he has been my constant caregiver, never complaining that he has to do pretty much everything for me.  I am so grateful to him and I love him more than ever before.

I am thankful for my angel SIL, who has given me so much encouragement.  Words cannot express how grateful I am to her for all she has given to me.

I am grateful for my family, who have loved me and prayed for me and encouraged me in my darkest times.

This year, I am thankful for a new friend and helper that has been sent to me from the Dept. of Human Services.  She has been working tirelessly to decoate my house for Christmas (and she has it looking great).  Thank you, Rhonda.

Last, but certainly not least, I am just thankful for all the blessings in my life - from friends and loved ones, strength, every need met.  I'm even thankful for my little rugrat cats, who give me so much companionship and comfort.

The Bible tells us "in everything, give thanks."  It doesn't say "for" everything give thanks, but I realize I have so MUCH to be thankful "for".

Monkey Butt

I was recently given a container of Anti-Monkey Butt as a joke.  Okay, okay.  This is another one of those Twilight Zone quirks about Oklahoma.
Soon I became curious as to whether or not there is such a thing as 'Monkey Butt', and if there really is, how do you get it?  Is it caused from being bitten by a monkey, or, as in the case of a Chinese zookeeper, do you 'catch' Monkey Butt from licking a monkey's butt to help it poop?
I had never heard of 'Monkey Butt', so I looked it up on the internet.  Turns out, Monkey Butt IS real and NOT just peculiar to Oklahoma!  I found this definition: slang for the sore irritated condition in the private or nether region of one's anatomy when compelled to persistently perform activities with inadequate hygiene; an equal opportunity malady that plagues men and women, walkers and riders, sitters and standers, regardless of race, creed, or color .
 I don't make this stuff up!
Be sure to get your Anti-Monkey Butt right away.  You surely don't want the pain nor the horror of those unsightly rashes!
You can get Anti-Monkey Butt online or at your local drugstore.  There is a whole line of products available for men, women, and even babies!  Anti-Monkey Butt comes in ointment, cream, or powder form.  Pick some up and don't risk this serious and painful malady!  Remember, Monkey Butt is an equal opportunistic 'problem'.
DON'T LEAVE YOURSELF UNPROTECTED!

Something/Something Else

I watch the Food Network.  A LOT!  For a long time, they had the "Share Our Strength" campaign as a regular part of the programming.  There were regular commercials, telling about the pligh tof hungry children in America.  I certainly do not want to make light of this problem, as I do not believe anyone should go hungry, least of all, children.
Which brings me to the title of this post.  One of the commercials that was run regularly, showed "hungry" children holding up signs that 'told' their story.  One such sign read "I got my dinner from a gas station".  We had to chuckle at this statement because we often get our dinner (sometimes lunch, too) from a gas station here in town.
The reason this post is titled "Something/Something Else" is because many of the businesses have dual purposes  This particular gas station also sells fast-food.  And it's better than the fast-food restaurants;  the local dry cleaners is also a Mini-Storage; a Pizza Place doubles as a Pawn Shop; and even a local preacher is a wanna-be politician.  No telling how many other something/something elses there are that I don't know about.
I reiterate:  Green Acres/ Twilight Zone!

Vocabulary

I have never considered myself a genius, or even particularly smart. But, I did manage to graduate High School and some colege with a 'B' average. Not to shabby for Brenda.  I even thought I had a decent grasp of the English language. Until I moved here, that is.
Below are just a few of the Oklahoma-isms (remember all the 'Bush-isms' when George H. Bush was president):

'I knowed
buggy - grocery cart
payout - checkstand
britches - pants
hidy hole - underground storm shelter
proud for - happy for or proud of
pop - soda
wrecker - tow truck
ain't or cain't - isn't or can't
And, we don't just go to Walmart, but we go to The Walmart.

I never thought, at this age, I'd be re-learning English and grammar.  Green Acres/Twilight Zone!

Pop Tart Tutorial

Boy, I;m really scrapin' the bottom of the barrel on this one!

I.LOVE.POPTARTS!  Some folks might eat them with a glass of milk or a cup of coffee, in the morning, as a breakfast food.  I like them that way, too. But, for me, they taste the very best as a snack, with a tall, cold glass of ice water.  Aaannnd, there has to be a certain way to eat them to maximize both flavor and lastability.  So, I thought a tutorial would be in order to share my fave way to eat a Pop Tart,and to let you know how you, too, can get the very most out of their yummy goodness.

STEP 1:  Open package (duh!)

STEP 2:  Break Pop Tart in half.

STEP 3:  Pick either half and eat JUST the outer edge, all the way around, leaving just the filled  center.  Take a drink of ice water after each bite.  Continue until all edges have been  consumed.

STEP 4:  Once all edges have been consumed, continue with centers, savoring every bit of jelly goodness, again, taking a gulp of ice water after each bite.

STEP 5:  Repeat above steps with second Pop Tart.

Oh, I should mention that these steps work best on your favorite flavor (mine is 'frsted cherry').  It is also okay if you don't use the name brand.  Any store brand will taste just as good, but, I must warn you.  DO NOT try this (or any other method) with a generic brand.  I'm not a Brand-Snob, but generic Pop Tarts just don't work for me!
Give this method a try and see if it isn't just the best way to eat a Popo Tart!  And, while you're eating said Pop Tarts, maybe you can give me some topical suggestioins for blog posts.
TTFN, B

Burn, Baby, Burn!

The headline in the newspaper reads "Come On, Baby, Light My Fire".  The statewide burn ban has been lifted. Hooray for all the pyros out there. This is just another one of those quirky little Oklahoma things. In this state,  people burn their trash.
Back in So. Cal., unless you wanted to be arrested,  you wouldn't ever consider burning your trash.  That's why you pay those high bills for door-to-door trash pick-up
Maybe burning is 'normal' in the rest of the country, but I had never heard of it until I came here.
Seems to me like it gives a green light to all the pyromaniacs out there!

Shoesday!

I ran across a blog a few years ago called "Memoirs of the Shoe Obsessed".  Each week, on Tuesday, she posts pix of a pair of shoes and calls it 'Shoesday'.  She puts up pictures of pretty shoes. I used to wear pretty shoes. Now, I wear these.  Every. Single. Day.  They don't look too bad with pants, and sometimes, my skirts are long enough to hide them. But, imagine a formal,"little black dress", a strand of pearls, hair perfectly coiffed (spelling ?), and these lovely shoes!
Since my stroke, I can'i wear regular dress shoes, nor any shoe that isn't flat with a non-skid bottom, all so I don't fall,which isn't pretty, either.  
So, Andie's got nothin' on me when it comes to Shoesday!  I'll put these babies up against her pretties any day!

Chloroform In Upholstery

In the past, chloroform was used to make patients unconscious during medical operations.

What can I say? I'm desparate for blogging fodder. A little over 3 years ago, I had a stroke, which left me unable to walk or balance on my own. Because of this, I am unable to get up or down unassisted. So, my Mr. bought me this lift chair. It is great for getting me up & down, but, every single time, without fail, that I sit in it, it puts me right to sleep, tired or not. It is so comfortable that I just sink right into it, much like a cozy, comfortable bed. So, Mr. started calling it "chloroform in upholstery"

Get Rich Quick!

Been m. i.a. for a couple of days, trying to think up some fodder to write about. Then, it finally hit me! I could write about my Get Rich Quick scheme. That's right, i've found a gold mine and I'm going to be rich! I've been doing online surveys, and in 2 months I've earned a whopping $14 and some change, not even enough to get a check. You have to earn at least $30 before the survey company will cut you a check. That's not even enough to support my Dollar Tree Store habit, much less Walmart and Michaels (even armed with my 50% off coupons). But, it keeps me amused, and, who knows, maybe soon I'll earn that $30, get my first check, and go crazy at the Dollar Tree! TTNT, Brenda aka The Millionaire! :)

Bonnie & Clyde

"Bonnie & Clyde were pretty lookin' people, but I can tell ya, people, they were the devil's children". Central National Bank of Poteau, Oklahoma, (still open in the downtown, historical part of town) has the dubious distinction of being one of the first bank heists pulled off by the Clyde Barrows Gang back in 1934 (I think that's the right year). Clyde and the boys walked in the bank, showed their guns, and took all the money, after making everyone lie down on the floor. They then went out, got into the waiting get-away car (driven by Bonnie) and disappeared into hills of Wister, which is the next town to the south? of Poteau. Now isn't that an exciting little tidbit?! See, I told y'all (that's Oklahoma-speak for you all) yesterday that you should be waiting with baited-breath for this story! That's all for now, folks! TTNT, Brenda

Cavanal

Here, in Poteau, we have several sights that sets our fair city apart from others, one being Cavanal Hill. See, technically, a piece of ground must be at least 2,000 ft. above sea level to be considered a "mountain". Anything less is only a "hill" Cavanal Hill is only a mere 1,999.5 ft. in height, therefore it is only a "hill" and not a "mountain", making it the World's Highest Hiil. Another 6 inches and it would be a full-fledged mountain. But, noooo, it's only a hill. I'm sure that a survey could find 6" somewhere, and then it would be called Cavanal Mountain.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll post about another of our fair city's sights, having to do with Bonnie & Clyde! Wait with baited breath!

Oklahoma's Weather Or Not

Yesterday, the Mr. and I took a drive into Ft. Smith, Arkansas (the place to go if you want a small taste of civilization).  As we were pulling out of our driveway 1/2 of the sky was sunny and blue, the other 1/2, cloudy, gray, and looking like rain.  About 1/2 way to Ft. Smith, the sky opened up and it began raining like a monsoon!  That lasted for about 3 or 4 miles.  Then, just as suddenly as it began, it stopped raining altogether!  Someone had told me:  "If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, just wait a minute and it will change".  Truer words were never spoken!

SHAD'S CATFISH HOLE

You might think, from the title, that this post is going to be about someone's special fishing spot.  NOPE!!  Here, in Oklahoma, it's the name of an eating establishment.  People go there from all over the state.  It's that good!
The first time we went there, it seemed like we just drove off into the night (we followed some friends) and that we would never get there.  Finally, after what seemed like hours of driving and crossing rivers, lakes, and creeks, we arrived to see a metal building with an interior-looking red door, over which hung a single light bulb.  It had the feel of a Prohibition-Era Speakeasy and I was sure there was some sort of secret knock that allowed entrance.
Once inside, we were greeted by all things nautical hanging on the walls and a huge aquarium sitting on the concrete floor.  There were wooden boat oars hanging on all the walls with writing on them. Turns out, those were the menus.
For all it's "corniness" the food was excellent!  And, it's All-You-Can-Eat!  I found out, on our second trip there, it's not as far as it originally seemed, there was no need for a "secret knock" or any kind of password to get inside, just great down-home food, with excellent service and prices.  And even if the decor is corny, the place is definitely worth the trip, and we'll be going there again!  Besides, you never know who you'll run into.  The last time we were there, I ran into my cousin,who lives about 2 counties away!

It's "Bogus!"

Where I grew up (So. Calif.), "Bogus" isn't even a real word.  It's only a made-up word to describe something that's made-up or obviously fake.  But, not here!  Found on the door of one department inside the County Courthouse is "Bogus Check Dept."  Keep in mind - Green Acres/Twilight Zone.

Snow Day!

I was sleeping and dreaming of the greenest lawn you ever did see.  Suddenly I woke up and when I looked outside, I saw this!  It was our very first snow day as Oklahomians!!

These are a couple of pix I took at a tea party I threw for my sister-in-law and a new friend.  I had help, but did most of the work myself.  It was my first Oklahoma "event".

Too Short Vacay!

We're back from beautiful, sunny So. California.  It was soooo good to see everyone. Our flight there was uneventful, except as soon as I looked out to see the lights of L.A. tears began to pour out of my eyes and I had an overwhelming urge to kiss the ground.  I WAS HOME!  On Monday was the family reunion and almost the entire family came.  It was a non-stop eatfest al day long.  Lots of hugs, lots of joy and laughter - it was WONDERFUL!!!  When we got on the plane to come back, there was a mix-up with seating.  It's realy a good thing I wasn't able to get up on my own power or I would have been in a fist fight!  There was a chick with a dog on board who really needed to just have the crap knocked out of her and I would have loved to be the one to do it!  Put THAT on the front page of the Poteau Daily News!!  Oh well, we made it back without further incident and I'm trying to catch up with the jet lag.  TTFN, B

Life in Podunk, USA

Well, here I am, living in beautiful Poteau, Oklahoma.  I've been here for just about 1 year.  I'm still struggling to recover from the stroke I had back in 2009,but doing better.

I wanted to start a whole new blog to chronicle my life here, as opposed to life in California.  Life here in Oklahoma is VERY different from California.  Think of the corniest Green Acres show you ever saw, combine it with The Twilight Zone, and you have life here in Poteau.  One day, when I can type faster, I'll tell about some of the "big" stories that make front-page news in the paper.  Just keep in mind, Green Acres combined with the Twilight Zone!

We have found a new church, and we are slowly making new friends.  I miss my California friends and family terribly - communicating via the internet  just isn't the same.  But, I suppose it's better than nothing.  I still have trouble with my speech, so I talk very little on the telephone.

A couple of months ago I was able to help put on a Tea Party for the ladies at church. Now, I am planning a garden party for the end of September.  But, tomorrow, the best thing happens - we fly HOME - for the Mr.'s annual family reunion & BBQ.  I am so excited - I can hardly wait to see everyone!