Monkey Butt

I was recently given a container of Anti-Monkey Butt as a joke.  Okay, okay.  This is another one of those Twilight Zone quirks about Oklahoma.
Soon I became curious as to whether or not there is such a thing as 'Monkey Butt', and if there really is, how do you get it?  Is it caused from being bitten by a monkey, or, as in the case of a Chinese zookeeper, do you 'catch' Monkey Butt from licking a monkey's butt to help it poop?
I had never heard of 'Monkey Butt', so I looked it up on the internet.  Turns out, Monkey Butt IS real and NOT just peculiar to Oklahoma!  I found this definition: slang for the sore irritated condition in the private or nether region of one's anatomy when compelled to persistently perform activities with inadequate hygiene; an equal opportunity malady that plagues men and women, walkers and riders, sitters and standers, regardless of race, creed, or color .
 I don't make this stuff up!
Be sure to get your Anti-Monkey Butt right away.  You surely don't want the pain nor the horror of those unsightly rashes!
You can get Anti-Monkey Butt online or at your local drugstore.  There is a whole line of products available for men, women, and even babies!  Anti-Monkey Butt comes in ointment, cream, or powder form.  Pick some up and don't risk this serious and painful malady!  Remember, Monkey Butt is an equal opportunistic 'problem'.
DON'T LEAVE YOURSELF UNPROTECTED!